A Son with Down Syndrome- a Father’s Pride & Joy

One of my favorite kinds of stories to share on this blog is the perspective that comes from dads. It is rare, in fact, we only have about 6 stories on the blog written by the all important dads, but they are so much more powerful than most fathers realize. I first became aquainted with Shawn when he purchased some jewelry from our 6arrowsdesigns website and his natural desire to advocate for his son led me to ask for his story. Shawn beams with pride and joy when telling of his son . A son with Down Syndrome, one father’s pride and joy.

In October of 2014 we found out we were going to be parents. I was 37 years old and we had tried for years and just figured it was not meant to be so this truly was a blessing. On Christmas Eve I came in from work and my wife was sitting there and told me we were having a little boy!! I was blown away and could not explain the excitement I felt at that moment. Right after telling me that, her eyes filled with tears and she told me the test for Downs Syndrome came back positive for our son.

You would think that something like this would be relayed to you face to face but it was just a casual phone call from the doctor’s office. I sat there in shock and immediately had to pull it together. I held her and told her it will all be ok. I was shocked, and a fear like I have never felt came over me. Not the fear of the diagnosis but a fear of an unknown so deep it had a hold of my soul. Most situations a person can stop and breath and think about it and then put forth a plan to adapt to them. Not this one. I was lost and didn’t know what I could do or what to do. We knew nothing about it or what was to come for us. Will he be ok, will we be ok, will we be able to provide the proper care for him and countless other things ran through my mind all at once. I was scared, angry, upset, lost and yet still trying to be positive and happy we were having a little baby boy!

Growing up I had an uncle. He was actually my great uncle. He was always so happy and nothing but a pure joy to be around. I was very young but I remember him always being so much fun and playing with me. I remember something different about him but was never quite sure what. Uncle Billy passed away while I was still fairly young and at some point in life, I found out about him and down syndrome. Now that I am much older and much more aware of things. I am so happy to have had the few years I had with him. See now I realized that he was simply just Uncle Billy as how it should have been. That’s what all of us have to realize. We are all just regular humans and a diagnosis does not define who we are.

Some of our family was already at my house and others immediately came over and we told them all at once I think. Or most of them that were there. I don’t exactly remember who all was there that day. We were not worried at all about telling them. Our family was and is our biggest support group and will always be there for us no matter what comes our way and us the same for all of them.

Just when you thought the worst was over, it was just beginning for us. The next visit we were told there were complications and he probably would not make it to 26 weeks. They asked us if we wanted to explore (other options) or intervene at 26 weeks if he made it and we said no because we both agreed that it was in God’s hands at that point and we were having him no matter what, he was our son and no matter what cards he was dealt we were determined that he was going to be part of our family. We went to the doctors 4 times a week for ultra sounds and testing and every time just praying to hear a heartbeat. Time went on and the agonizing weeks past so slow you can’t imagine. Bad news after bad news and scare after scare is all we knew for what seemed like an eternity. Well finally on May 12th, 2015 at 37 weeks Jase made his first appearance and what an appearance it was!!! We had a baby boy who by the grace of God was perfectly healthy and just happened to be blessed with an extra chromosome. He had no health problems that were told he would have or could possibly have what so ever. He is the most amazing thing in my life and I don’t know what I have done all those years without the little guy. I am just a regular guy and a dad. Jase is who makes me a better person, he is who makes me the lucky one.

Backing up some. Once we were diagnosed it did not take long and my wife went into over drive. She began reading and researching and gathering any and all information she could. But most of all she went into full blown momma protection mode and although I was supposed to be the strong one, she totally stepped up and ran the show. She showed a strength and determination and immediate love like I have never seen or known. Because of her, we made it though the terrible times we went through, because of her our fears were pacified because of her I have a little boy that I love to the ends of the earth!!

Jase is now three about to be four this May. In these first so very short four years, I have learned so much. I can tell you that any fears you may have, let them go. There is absolutely nothing to be scared about. The love and joy you are going to get from your little one is like nothing you can even begin to imagine. You are going to learn so much from them every single day and hopefully they will pick up a few tips from you but for the most part they got it all figured out! If you don’t have it, you will quickly learn patience.

Jase does what he wants when he wants and only when he wants. When you think things are not progressing as they should remember you are on their schedule, they are not on yours. For us it started off so simple. Just him rolling over for the first time was an amazing milestone for us. Then sitting up then crawling and then walking. Now I can hardly keep up with the little guy. The love he shows is incomparable to anything I have ever known. No matter how rough the day may have been or how bad I think a situation is, as soon as I get home to him, nothing else really matters. Now that he is here, everything I thought in life that mattered and was soooo important to me and had to be done immediately, is really no big deal at all. The little simple things like hearing him yell out Daddy when I walk in, or seeing him cuddled up with his mom sleeping or singing with him while we are driving some place and just being with him is where its at. That’s what matters and it matters because he matters and has blessed us with a love and life that I never knew was possible.  

When asked about himself, Shawn says “I am 41 and I have been married to my beautiful wife for 16 years.  I am former Marine and was stationed at Camp Lejeune with the 26th MEU where I completed two deployments.  I love spending time with my family and
absolutely love the outdoors. Hunting and Fishing has always been my
favorite past times and I am looking forward to sharing this with my wife
and son now that he is getting old enough to tag along. Watching our son grow and enjoy time with us is something that I never thought would happen for us. Now that it has, I am not sure what we did for the last 16 years but
look forward to many more years of love, laughter and happiness!”