When I was pregnant with Moa I felt something wasn’t right .. or was it.
She is just so perfect.
But everything felt different when compared to the pregnancy with my son. I didn’t know that Moa had Down Syndrome until she was born, two hours after her birth when the midwife and doctor came in they told us. It was a 
special occasion in my life because I will always remember it.
They told my now ex-husband to sit down… I knew, they were going to say that she had Down Syndrome. The floor just opened.. and I went down to the basement and back up. I looked at Moa and said, – but I love her, and that was how I coped with it.
From that day on she was everything I ever wanted, my beautiful princess. These are really my honest feelings, I never wanted a different child or pined for a healthy one. Of course, sometimes it was hard but I just worked through it.
The doctors were so great, and I felt we had such a good doctors that talked to us for three days before we went home. One volunteered in Mozambique and he told us that babies with Down Syndrome are God sent. Aren’t they?
I thought a lot about Down Syndrome, and I read a lot of things that made me afraid for Moa’s future. I read about diseases, life expectancy, and so on, it was hard on me to read all of what I found. I decided then to move past what I was reading and I decided to live in the here and now. I just took every day as it came, but then came the heart surgery, and that was hard. I was so afraid that she would die. Moa had a VSD and the operation went very well with no complications afterward. I will say that the time at the hospital was, of course, hard and long.
Before Moa was born I didn’t know anybody with Down Syndrome. I saw people sometimes and thought, I hope I never get a child with a disability. When I was pregnant I was in school and one day we saw a movie called The Eighth day. I remember that I first said, – I am not going to watch this. But I did and I am so glad for that. It changed my view about people with DS.
My grandparents didn’t have so much knowledge about DS and I remember that they said – Okay she is a Mongolid (which they said a long, long time ago, because they looked like people from Mongolia). And when they met her they thought she was perfect. My grandma said – She is going to go far this girl. And so far she is right.
My mom took the news the hardest. After she began coping better, she said she was nervous for me and thought I was witholding what I really felt. But I didn’t, that wasn’t the truth. It took my mother a year to hug Moa and say I love you. From that day forward they were inseparable. Unfortunately, she passed away many years ago in 2005.
In Sweden DS is treated different depending on the municipality. Some of the parents have to fight for their rights and for others, it just works out. Where we live I haven’t had to fight for Moa’s rights. I have had trouble finding an escort for activities but that’s all. She loves her school and hates breaks. So this year is her last and I worry a bit about how it will be for her afterwards. Moa will have daily activities like work, but I want to find something special for her. Maybe she will work at a cinema just because she loves movies.
I think that kids with special needs should go to school and work where there are similar people so that they can have similar peers. I also know that a lot of parents would think otherwise, but we are all individuals and can have our own opinions.
Parents on this path with a child who has Down syndrome are all so different in the acceptance of the disability, for some it takes years, and some never accept it. I just think that everyone should take their time to deal with it in their own way. I can promise you one day you will just look at your child at no longer see the DS, just see your child.
I received some words of wisdom when Moa came to us. Treat her like any other child with all that comes with it like schedules, snacks, meals, etc. Give your child roots and wings is also a good way to think.
Moa is soon to be 19 years old and has a great life despite her disability. She is just awesome and has a great personality. She loves to travel because she knows that I have control of stuff and trusts me. Last year we were in USA and had a great time making a road trip from Colorado to LA. The 23 of September we are going to Portugal with a Glada Hudik (a theater group here in Sweden) and we are going to have a great time. Moa and her friends are going to play theater and train, also a lot of sun and swimming of course.
How has this changed me? Well, my patience is a lot better and I have met so many great people that I never would have met otherwise. She has just changed my life for the better in so many ways.
Please check out this link for an exhibition here in Sweden. 21 with DS. I am so proud of Moa and so glad she got the opportunity to do this. There is also a short movie about us. You can select in English.
Lotta and Moa live in Sweden. You can see more of Moa in the video clip she sent me a few months ago. Follow Moa on Instagram @krigarenmoa
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