The Silent Talk: Sign Language and Down Syndrome

The idea of teaching children, any children, sign language has been around for as long as I have been having children.  Frankly, I never gave it much thought before I had my Cedar because my children have always progressed in this area quite well.  However, I began trying to teach Cedar some signs from a very early age because I knew that there was a possibility that he would have a much more difficult time learning to speak.  I like to call it the silent talk: Sign Language and Down Syndrome.  Unfortunately, Cedar didn’t seem interested at all in learning signs.

I was prepared, I had Baby Signing Times on Youtube afterall…but Cedar just didn’t seem to be able to pick up signs.  I was a little frustrated but then I was encouraged when he said “mama” for the first time followed by “dada”  He has a few other words but as we are now approaching 2 years old this Christmas time I thought we would revist the sign language that may allow him to tell us what he needed and why we were already starting to see some temper flares (quite typical behavior of this age so I was kinda happy)

From having other children I know that as a child ages and is unable to clearly communicate his or her needs, the temper tantrums have a tendency to increase.  I mean, think about it, if you were never able to tell anyone what you wanted you too might have a total meltdown.  But he still wasn’t interested in signs…in fact when I signed “more” or “Eat” to him he looked at me like I had two heads.  Yes, it was just like that.

It wasn’t until we went out for ice cream and gave him his first lick.  I learned something valuable that day, it is all about the motivation, and who is most stubborn (the jury is still out on that one).  I was enjoying my cone and sharing it with Cedar when he kept throwing fits, he would hit his chubby little hands on the table and yell out in frustration.  My husband and I decided we were going to pick this battle (pick wisely parents) and so my husband would put his hands over Cedar’s and help him sign “more”

Photo courtesy of tinysigns

We did this before EVERY lick of the ice cream and then after about 10 rounds my husband quit.  There was ice cream left and Cedar REALLY wanted more.  So I said more? and waited. and waited. and waited.  It took about 2 minutes and he brought those little hands together.  It wasn’t perfect, it was sloppy, almost more of a clap but we counted it, we cheered like he just won the superbowl, and he loved the attention.  That was Cedar’s first sign.

This has actually been a huge help because there are so many times our kids want “more” of something but can’t tell us.  Since learning this sign we have used it in other scenarios like when he is swinging, (more swing?) when we are singing to him (more songs?) and when we are reading to him (more books?)  See what I mean?

The next sign Cedar readily learned was “eat” and he has always hit his chest for his own version of “me”

The culmination I want to share though is when the lights went on and he figured out that he could actually put all 3 signs together well.  Here is a very grainy clip (like 24 seconds long) of his first signing sentence.  Me-more-eat.  Why yes sweetie, we will feed you more.

It’s really the small victories, right?

Want to learn more about signing with your little one?  Here are some great tips by another mama with a little who has Down Syndrome, her daughter signs so well…#momgoals

Related Posts: Teaching Signs – one mom’s tips

Very Helpful Site: Tiny Signs

Avoiding Caregiver Burnout as a Special Needs Parent

Life lately reminds me of a paragraph out of the @Sniequist book “Present over Perfect”. In this chapter, she describes life feeling like she’s driving a car with the windows rolled down and the music up as loud as it possibly can go. She slides into a gas station, swings open the door and runs inside, placing her face underneath a red Slurpee machine, guzzling it down as fast as she can. That’s what I’m feeling these days. I want to take in every ounce of this season of being a mom to two little ones. I want to say yes to all the therapy. I want to do all the fun activities with my children. The list could go on. I have a little voice that is increasingly growing louder and louder, saying this way of operating won’t be suitable and these years are fleeting. So how do you manage avoiding caregiver burnout as a special needs parent?  How do you slow down the speeding car? I’m not going to pretend to have all the answers, but I can give you my perspective, based on what I need to do myself.

Number one

Accept what kind of person you are and operate within the strengths and weaknesses of your unique traits. I know I’m a people person. When I’m building out our week or month of obligations I need to take into account that I will resent our schedule if I don’t allow time for social interaction. No, oversharing your thoughts, feelings and most recent cookie recipe with your child’s physical therapist doesn’t count. No judgment, I’ve been that person. You’ve got to have normal playdates, social events and adult conversations that are not centered around being a caregiver for small children.

Number two

You’ve got time. I still fight the urge to book therapy for every day of the week. I want to over-provide for my daughter, just as I do my son. I put pressure on myself to “keep grinding” to get her to the next milestone. This comes from a place of love, but it’s not fair to her, me or our family. If circumstances allow, take on a therapy routine that feels slightly below what you envision. Our ideas of what we want to implement are usually a bit unrealistic when applied to everyday life. I’ve noticed most of Rory’s success comes from home implementation, but when I have us booked for daily practitioner-led therapy, the homework isn’t as much as a priority. The thing is, at the end of the day, you’ve got to still have the focus and energy to just be mom. If your running from appointment to appointment all day you will eventually hit a big hard wall. That wall hurts when I step back, a bit dazed and realize I didn’t get to be mommy all day. I was a taxi driver, therapy director and meal planner leaving no time for snuggles, story or just relaxing with my family.

Number three

Don’t quit, just rest. A new rule I’m looking forward to implementing is scheduling formal breaks in our therapy routine. I may align her therapy with the academic schedule or create one that works for our family. There needs to be light at the end of the tunnel and sometimes pressing on until the milestone happens can be a long haul. Knowing that you have time off from the flow of early mornings and practitioners coming into your home is helpful when keeping morale up. Make sure to utilize those breaks for true rest. That can be doing nothing or taking a small family adventure. Whatever works best for you.

Number four

Make sure you’re taking care of yourself. Shower, eat right and have alone time. This goes back to number one. Know who you are and what you need to be the best you. Don’t feel selfish. If you are not well, your little one won’t do well. Don’t get sucked into social media during nap time and not shower. That shower is important to your overall well being. Don’t sit on the couch and crash, skipping lunch. Make yourself a priority!

Number five

Celebrate! Celebrate! Celebrate! If you’ve made it through six weeks of therapy and its time for your scheduled intermission, do something special. If your little one hit a small or large milestone make it a big deal. We work hard for our children and they are busting their butts to accomplish these goals, it needs to be recognized. You all deserve it.

Download this reminder and tape it to your fridge!

Amanda is a Mom of two (Owen + Rory). Shop owner @theglorydaysco, writer, and special needs advocate. You can also find her on Instagram @roryblakeisgreat