Afraid of Down Syndrome

I am the mother of a child that most people fear. Yes, you read that right. Children like my beautiful little boy terrify most women. Let me clarify for you what I mean. To look at this precious face you could never be afraid of him, he is joy, love, hope and so much more. But the world says otherwise and statistics continually demonstrate that women are afraid of down syndrome.

That is why in the United States 67% of prenatal diagnoses of Down Syndrome end in pregnancy termination. Wait, before you shake your head and leave because you know where this is going I want to tell you that I don’t blame those women who made that choice. Here is why…

Fear is a powerful motivator. Fear will cause us to make snap decisions, fear will cause our heart to pound, tears to fall, fists to ball up and bring about an impending sense of suffocating dread. Fear will also cause a well meaning, loving woman to make a mistake because she is afraid. That same woman who will likely later see that those with Down Syndrome aren’t as scary as she feared. She will likely regret what fear led her to do.

No, I don’t blame the woman who, out of fear chose to be a part of that 67%. I blame fear. Fear is not something that is given by God, though our children are. Fear is a tool that is used to tell women that they can’t. Fear is a tool that is used to tell women that they won’t be able to be happy any longer, they will have a dismal future, they will be sentenced to the doom of caring for a child with special needs for a lifetime. This is what fear has told women.

Doctors believe this fear too. At least the doctors who have no reference point in the real world for Down Syndrome. Doctors who tell women that their children can’t, their children won’t, and that it is likely their child will not survive anyway.

Related Post: 10 ways I was ignorant about Down Syndrome

I am undoubtedly pro life in every situation, but I am not against women. I am against the fear that makes them choose to end a life that can be beautiful and joyful like the one we are leading.

I blame fear and I blame a society who doesn’t help to change the fear surrounding the diagnosis of Down Syndrome. I blame a society that has negated the value of life it feels is “unworthy.” When we are negative towards those who are made differently, when we are not inclusive, we perpetrate this fear. When our society uses derogatory terms to refer to people like my son, we continue this fear. When we say, “I’m sorry” to the new mom who gives birth to a child with Down Syndrome, instead of saying, “Congratulations.” we perpetrate this fear.

I want women to know that they don’t have to be afraid. This life is not what I feared it would be either, it is so much better than I could have imagined.

So, in my effort to combat fear, I share my son with the world. I show the world that he is capable, worthy and so very loved. I show the world that he can be amazing and he will do great things. I show the world that our life is not sad and dismal.

I show the world that fear will not win.