When Lewis was born we were given the surprise diagnosis of Down Syndrome.
During my pregnancy, I had a prenatal blood test which showed a low risk for Down Syndrome and no concerns to say otherwise so we did no further testing and carried on waiting to meet our handsome young man.
To say we were shocked by the news would be putting it lightly. When the midwife said she saw some soft markers which indicated Down Syndrome both Tim & I felt very upset. Our perfect little boy was not the child we imagined and our path had changed.
How would we cope?
Were we strong enough?
What did this mean for our family?
A pediatrician then checked over Lewis and confirmed she saw the same subtle soft markers, the almond shaped eyes and low-set ears.
We were told how there could be several health concerns associated with the diagnosis but as Lewis was doing well feeding and looking well, he could go home. We were asked to with the return to the hospital in a week to have a scan of his heart to rule out any problems there.
We arrived at the hospital a week later, I guess naively thinking it was just a routine heart scan that would show no abnormalities, after all, we had scans during pregnancy and everything looked normal.
We were wrong.
The scan showed Lewis had 2 holes in his heart – one of which would need surgical repair when he was a bit bigger and stronger, something which would probably happen late 2017.
We were assured on a general scale his heart condition was mild and needed nothing more than to be checked routinely to keep an eye on things until it was time for surgery.
Suddenly, we were thrown into this world which felt so unsure, it was scary and not ever a path we thought we would walk. I felt a great sadness for a while about the son I thought I would have and the child I was holding not being the same person. I kept wondering why Lewis?
It was a very difficult time and I felt emotions I never thought possible, but 3 months down the line I can honestly say that Lewis has captured my heart.
I feel so protective over him & seeing the bond he has with Elizabeth already, just melts my heart. He is doing everything a baby should & more, smiling, giggling, rolling from tummy to back, sleeping 12 hours at night, batting at toys, following faces or toys and generally making me one very proud and grateful mummy.
Looking too far ahead in the future does still make me sad at times as there is no way of knowing how much Lewis will achieve or how much help he will need. But isn’t that true of everyone? How can anyone really know how much their children will achieve or how much help they will need? And as parents, we would give our children every bit of help we could to help them so there really is no difference.
This past 3 months has made me appreciate all I have much more, find strength I never knew I had and focus more on the moment rather than worry about the future. I am so looking forward to getting to know my gorgeous boy more as he grows and shows us more of his personality.
Every time I feel sad, scared, or worried I just look at my beautiful boy’s face & I know everything will be just fine.
Lewis lives with his mommy, Kris, daddy Timothy, and older sister Elizabeth in Cambridgeshire, England. Lewis is 3 months old and showing his family a beautiful new world every day.
Thanks for sharing Kris! Your words were very encouraging, you have a beautiful baby boy!!!