Every mom thinks it will never be her. None of us go into a pregnancy expecting that the path we start on will take winds, twists, and turns that we didn’t know about. When you have a birth diagnosis, as I did, and as Alexandria did, your shock is profound, but that angelic little face is also a source of comfort.
Alexandria shares her story of Matthew’s birth, a perfect little boy who just needed to take his family on a different path than they had planned…
My birth experience was intense.
With my first delivery, I had an emergency C-section due to last minute breach presentation. So, with Matthew we decided to have a vaginal birth after C-section(VBAC). I was very nervous going in knowing that there are some serious risks with a VBAC. Labor continued as planned and when it became intense I received an epidural. The Epidural ending up failing and only numbing half of my body so the left side of my body felt absolutely everything and it was bad.
When it came close to delivery his heart rate dropped and a team rushed in with oxygen and began flipping me back and fourth to try to bring up babies heart rate. Thankfully he recovered but it was a terrifying few minutes. After about 15 hours in labor it was time to push! After only three attempts of pushing he was here! It was magical to see them put him on my chest.
The minute we locked eyes my heart sunk.
I instantly saw his almond eyes and my gut told me something wasn’t right. I whispered to my husband, “does it look like something is wrong with him?” he quickly snapped back at me and said “don’t you ever say that…he is perfect”.
I let it go and thought maybe I was just crazy and vaginal birth babies just might look different immediately after birth. Nobody said anything and everything continued like normal. Then around 1:00am A nurse comes in our room while we were sleeping. I am so out of it because I just delivered my son and my body was exhausted. She mumbles something about testing and needing the baby. I figured it was something routine and to be honest I was so tired I’m not even sure what she said.
Moments later in the middle of the night a nurse walks in… everything from this point on is kind of a blur so bear with me. She said something along the lines of “I am sorry to tell you but with think your baby has Down syndrome and something wrong with his heart.” My whole world stopped with one sentence. I swear the world froze in that moment and my head was spinning. She dropped a massive bomb on us in the middle of the night and then just walked out! NOBODY came in to talk to us offer us help… nothing.
I called my mom bawling telling her I couldn’t do this. Thoughts began running through my head. Awful thoughts. This couldn’t be happening to me, why me, why us!? I can’t do this…I don’t want to do this! I want my healthy baby boy! Our life will never be normal! I cried for us, I cried for him, I cried for our daughter whose whole life I thought was going to change because her brother has Down syndrome. I thought all the worst things a mother should never think. I was mourning the loss of the baby I thought we were going to be getting… our perfect family of four.
When the nurse broke the news that he also had a heart defect I said is that something that normally needs surgery and she assured me oh no usually never!!! LIES! That night seemed like it lasted forever! We were left in a room without our baby and no one to talk to but each Other! I kept praying this was a nightmare and that I was going to wake up soon. But this was not a nightmare this was really happening!
The next day tons of family and friends were supposed to come to the hospital to meet our perfect baby boy. I told everyone other than our parents to stay away. I wasn’t ready to face the truth or tell anyone. We just cried for hours as this little boy was whisked in and out of our room for testing. The hospital offered us nothing. They just threw this news on us, kept apologizing, and pretty much avoided our room. Even the lactation consultant wanted nothing to do with us once she found out he had Down syndrome. Had this been handled better I feel like we wouldn’t have been robbed of the complete birthing experience of our son.
Later that day I decided it might be good to invite some friends and family up and share the news. Maybe stop crying for a moment. As family and friends gathered our room we prayed and cried not knowing anything about Down syndrome. Finally, the mood was lightening and we began to finally see a little glimmer of light when we were unaware we were about to get hit with more shocking news.
Cardiology comes in our room and instead of asking people to step out of the room to speak with us they blurt out 
the news in front of everyone. Your son has an atrioventricular septal defect and will need open heart surgery in the coming months. Again my world stopped. I cried out and had to swallow this news in front of everyone.
After days of emotional ups and downs we realized we were okay ❤ we had our baby boy and even though this wasn’t what we had planned for it was our new life and its a great life. Our marriage has become stronger, our family is supportive and learning alongside us, a different path but not a bad one.
Alexandria and her family reside in Pittsburg. Alexandria has a degree in early childhood education. She is married and has two children, Amelia (2 typical) and Matthew (7months Down syndrome). After the birth of her children she became a stay at home mom and loves every minute of it. You can follow the family on Instagram @allie_norge
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