Should You Tell Your Child They Have Down Syndrome?
This was a question that I heard two moms talking about and frankly, it puzzled me a bit. I overheard them talking, both newer moms, and one said to the other she was never going to tell her child he had Down Syndrome. I seriously scratched my head at this one… It has never once crossed my mind to NOT tell my child he has Down Syndrome. So that leaves me wondering, should you tell your child they have Down Syndrome?
In the beginning, when we were still processing our son’s diagnosis we didn’t tell the world. Our reasons at that time were to allow ourselves time to process and navigate the emotions that come with a birth diagnosis. It wasn’t long before we found our bearings and felt that we should go ahead and share the news with friends and family. In fact, when Cedar was 2 weeks old I wrote a post that was what we shared with the world so we didn’t have to tell people one by one. I have to tell you, I felt so much better and the fear started leaving me at that point.
Related Post: The First Post We Shared With The World
From then forward Down Syndrome is a non-issue. We share Cedar with the world and yes, big surprise, he has Down Syndrome. Because we are so involved in the Down Syndrome community at this point his diagnosis is just part of daily conversation so I doubt he will ever even ask, but if he does, it won’t be hidden from him.
I think I felt so perplexed by the conversation I overheard because I can’t imagine trying to keep something like that from your child. I mean, if your child has asthma would you NOT tell him or her? Okay, I get that asthma is not an intellectual disability but what about if your child had dyslexia? My husband has dyslexia and has always struggled with some things because of it. What if his mother had never told him that he had dyslexia? I don’t think that he was in any way scarred by knowing that he has what is considered a “learning disability.” It hasn’t held him back in any way. He may have to work harder but it hasn’t stopped him from attaining a college degree and a career that allows him to support a family of 8.
So, should you tell your child that they have Down Syndrome? In my opinion, yes, you should. There are things that are going to be harder for my son to learn and do and I don’t want him to be ashamed of any part of him. He has an extra copy of his 21st chromosome, that is how he was designed by God and therefore it is an integral part of who he is. I will not allow him to use it as an excuse for anything, nor to claim his disability as a reason he is not willing to try something, but, he will know everything about himself, and his extra chromosome.
What are your thoughts on this? Have you ever heard of a parent not telling their child they have Down Syndrome?
I’ve never heard of such a thing as to not tell a child they have down syndrome if they do? Perplexing. My daughter is 5. I’ve never sat her down and told her about her diagnosis, but like yourself it’s a part of our daily conversation. One day when that time is right, I will do more explaining to her, if she wishes. I’m sure I will know when that time is right! It almost seems a cruel thought to keep that from a child/person with DS. What a confusing world that might cause. I have a stencil on the wall over my daughters bed that reads…..”Why fit in, when you were born to stand out! Dr. Seuss. Own it! Be proud of it! We are❤
My daughter was diagnosed with Down syndrome. She was born just 2 months ago 10/6/18) we found out at birth she has it and I guess I never considered this question. We are still new to what Down syndrome is and the effects of it on my child. I guess at this point, her being only a newborn, I would wait to see if she can understand the concept first, when she turns the age when I can explain it to her so it makes a little sense in her terms but I don’t think I would ever withhold it from her.
I couldn’t agree more.
My foster daughter has never been told she has Down syndrome, but it has never been hidden from her. She has severe learning difficulties, and doesn’t even realise she is different. If she was told, she wouldn’t understand. To be honest, it depends on each child, as their learning and understanding vary from person to person.