When a mama has a baby who is diagnosed with Down Syndrome there is often a process that occurs. That process can include a time of grieving and tears but for this mama that was later followed by a love so big it spanned oceans and brought her not one, but two beautiful souls with Down Syndrome.
I married my high school sweetheart and we were able to do mission work in an orphanage in Romania. I have wanted to adopt since I was a little girl. Reading the book Lost Girls of China and our mission work only solidified this desire. Our plan was to have 3 biological children and adopt what would be our 4th child.
Children 1 and 2 came relatively easy, but we then had multiple miscarriages, years of unsuccessful fertility procedures, and finally decided to stop trying. We started the foster adoption process (January ’13). Mid-way through we lost my little sister (March ’13) and knew we needed to allow ourselves time to grieve properly before bringing more children who were also broken into our home.
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A year after our last fertility treatment and 6 months after the death of my sister, we found out we were pregnant with Jude (August ’13). We were stunned and blown away. After he was born (March ’14) and we had his Down Syndrome diagnosis I told my husband our family was complete and this was all I could handle.
I was terrified and grieving the loss of my “typical child” dreams. I had no idea what the future held for Jude and our family.
But then, as the months went by I began to learn that Down Syndrome was not this huge scary diagnosis that I had thought it was. I began to see the complete joy that Jude brought to everyone around him. When he was about 16 months old (July ’15), I saw a little boy with DS called “Scout” being advocated for and I told Michael I wanted to consider adoption again. Now always when I thought of adopting it was a healthy child that I pictured. I never dreamed of adopting a child with special needs. Scout gripped me though, and made me think that we could do this. In September Jude was chosen to be one of the people featured in the NYC Buddy Walk Time Square video. We traveled to participate and while there met a family who had adopted 3 little girls with DS. We were blown away and simply amazed. Seeing Scout and meeting the Baz family was God’s way of nudging us in the direction towards DS adoption.
Just one month later in October ’15 we saw Max’s picture on Facebook in an advocacy post. We called the agency he was listed with and started the process. We are now 8 months home and it was the best decision we have ever made for our family. The relationship between Jude and Max is absolutely amazing. I watch the two of them together and it brings tears to my eyes to see them interact. They are 3 months apart and I can see them growing even closer as they grow up.
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They challenge each other and learn from one another. Jude is more advanced than Max right now, but I firmly believe Max is going to bypass Jude as time goes on. You might think having 2 is double the work, but it truly is not. Yes it is in practical matters – double diaper changes etc. But they do therapy appointments and specialist appointments at the same time. They entertain and play with one another. As far as my older 2 children (age 12 and 9) – they have grown so much from having Jude and Max as siblings. They are more aware of differences in others and strive to make everyone feel included. They share with friends and others about Down Syndrome and disability.
My older children cheer the boys on and celebrate each milestone and accomplishment as much as Michael and I do. People often tell me how awesome we are for adopting another child with DS. What they don’t know is how selfish a decision it really was. Jude is an incredible child who keeps us laughing, smothers us in kisses and hugs, and lives life so beautifully and innocently that we wanted more of that in our lives. One of the questions I hate to be asked is did we know Jude had DS. Implying if we had known we would have done something about it. So in a way, I feel like our adoption of Max screams to the world we may not have had a choice with Jude, but we 100% had a choice with Max and we would do it a 1000 more times if given the chance.
Whittney married her high school sweetheart and together they have 4 children. After the birth of their 3rd son and his Down Syndrome diagnosis, the entire family became passionate about raising awareness to reduce the stigma of disability. This past year the Moody’s adopted their son Max from China who is also rocking an extra 21st chromosome. The Moody’s live in Georgia and have started a 5k race on World Down Syndrome Day to raise support for families adopting children with Down Syndrome. You can follow Max & Jude on Facebook at Max and Jude More Alike than Different and on Instagram @Max_and_jude
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