Choosing to Homeschool a Special Needs Child

January 1, 2021 by Guest Post Leave a Comment

Choosing to Homeschool a Special Needs Child

I always get so excited to find another family who shares my affinity for homeschooling, especially when it involves choosing to homeschool a special needs child. I “met” Joy and her family because of our very similar journies but she is far ahead of my special needs homeschool journey so I value her thoughts and observations. When she recently posted this article on her own blog I asked for permission to share with my readers as it was such a blessing to me, I figured it would be to all of you as well. Here are some of Joy’s sage nuggets of wisdom…

When Rudy, who has Down syndrome, was born we were already well into our home schooling journey. Our oldest was 9, so we were into our fifth year, yet for some reason that surprised me, many people thought we’d send Rudy “out” for special services and special preschool . . . and eventually public school. Why? Partly, they explained, because even though they thought we were doing great with our “typical” children, surely Rudy would need the benefit of “experts”, surely I knew that his needs were far beyond my expertise and I would want him to have every advantage! Hmmm. . . This seems to be a widespread idea, so I will address it, as well as adding my own thoughts so that you can make your own decision. And if you know someone who has a special needs child, you can gain understanding and find a way to be supportive!

First of all, I think most people have an idea that the only way to get early intervention therapies is through an early education program specializing in “special education”. That is not true. All 50 States have some sort of early intervention therapy program for developmental delays that is available to these children for free. In Missouri, we have First Steps, they coordinate services like Physical therapy, Occupational therapy, and Speech therapy that come right to your house. We started with these therapies when Rudy was just 3 months old! Every child is assessed and specialized therapy is given, based on his particular needs. This program is from birth to 3, after this there are other avenues to get the therapies needed, if needed. Rudy’s therapists did not see a need for continued therapy after he turned three, but that is an individual thing, as all children with Down Syndrome do not develop at the same rate.

One day, after an hour of intense physical therapy, working on Rudy’s core and balance, in an effort to work toward him being able to sit up, the noise level in our house began to steadily grow with laughter, shrieks, and excitement. And thudding of feet. As I went to inspect, I saw Rudy on a large blanket being pulled around the “circle”, which was just the path that the doorways from kitchen to dining room to living room made. They had made the blanket into a little sled for him, the corners that they were pulling him by made a sort of a back support, but as they pulled and turned it allowed for him to use his core, sort of like holding a mini “crunch” on a roller coaster! He was giggling, belly laughing, and squealing with delight! The older kids were having a blast and Rudy was practicing much needed muscles and balance that would lead him to sitting up! So, what did I take away from all of this? Rudy, at home, with siblings to play with, was naturally working on the same things that he was getting from the “experts”! That was a huge realization for me, and after that I could relax a lot more. And while I am an advocate for early intervention therapies, I now realize that kids with special needs gain much more from a home setting, with siblings of varying ages to play with than they could ever get from a specialized program, spending the day with other students their age, “typical” or special needs. This is a very freeing idea for a Mom living under the pressure of giving her special needs child every advantage they can in order to smooth the way for them in their life ahead!

Not too many years ago, children who were born with Down Syndrome were taken away from their families at birth and institutionalized. Now, as almost all babies with Down Syndrome go home with their families and are cared for and nurtured by those that love them, the average IQ for people with Down Syndrome has risen. Significantly. Why? The home is the best place for children. All children. Why then is is strange, that if a family is led to the homeschooling movement, they shouldn’t hesitate at all to keep their special needs child at home also? Or, even if this is their only child at home? I would not say that home schooling is the only way for families with special needs kids, or even kiddos with Down syndrome. Every family is different, with different goals, desires, gifts and callings. However, if the family feels drawn to homeschooling, there is no reason having a child with special needs, like Down syndrome, should keep them from it.

You are not qualified

I do not have a degree in Special education! How do I teach my son with special needs? Some of the same reasoning can be applied to this criticism as applies to all of your children, if you do not have a teaching degree. You love this child with all your heart, and that is all the “expertise” you will need! You want the best for him/her more so, than any professional ever could and that will more than make up for lack of training! You can gain knowledge: from the internet, from friends with experience, from books, and on and on. We parents tend to be quite motivated to learn when it comes to our little ones! The biggest advantage a special needs program has is it’s one on one teacher/student ratio. YOU have that. Little secret, the one on one attention is most likely to be given by an aid- with no degree at all!! only under the supervision of a teacher. You, on the other hand, can eek out as much one on one time for your child as you need to! You know your child better than anyone else. You are more motivated to provide the best learning environment and experience for your child that you can, more so than anyone else. And you are more motivated to provide every opportunity for your child to succeed than anyone else. Period.

You may not be an expert in Special Education, but you are an expert when it comes to your child. You know what motivates him/her, you know their likes, dislikes, and you know when they are at their limit. You know them like no one else, and this will help you teach them like no one else. On top of all of this, you have the advantage of the “teachable moment”. Unlike a formal school setting, you can see an opportunity for a concept to sink in with your child any time of the day or night! You are almost constantly present and available to “teach”, or what I like to call – facilitate learning. When they are interested, or a moment presents itself that makes a learning moment more possible than in “school time”, you don’t have to wait until it’s class time. This is HUGE for special needs kids, especially in areas that book learning is hard for them. And some concepts are almost impossible for them to learn without hands on experience.

I like what the folks at HSLDA say ” Our finding is, that with the literature, teaching aids, and other resources now available, that any parent who desires to help their child learn can find that help, and eventually do a much better job with that child than any school could do.”

Legal Considerations

Now, here is a really scary factor for all parents. No one is more scrutinized for home schooling than parents of special needs children. But, like any fear, with reason beside you, And taking the proper precautions, there is no need to let it hold you back from the best you can give your child. Home schooling has become ALMOST mainstream. When we first started homeschooling in 1998 most people knew what it was, but we still got a lot of blank stares and looks like we were really strange from people when they found out we home schooled. Today, the response is usually something like, “that’s great, I think that’s so neat” or “I know so-and-so who home schools their kids and those kids are wonderful”, or “I admire you, I wish I had the patience to do that!” or the most awkward, ” my kid wants me to home school them, but I >>>(some reason)”! With this widespread acceptance, we can worry a little less. Still, people do view special needs a little differently. In any case, I would recommend knowing, and abiding by your state’s laws. Home schooling is legal in all 50 states, and that includes your special needs child. HSLDA Home School Legal Defense Association has a breakdown of the laws for all 50 states. They also have a ton of resources for parents teaching special needs children here.

Time, and other considerations

I will not lie, teaching your special needs child will take time. It will take patience, lots of it. Not that you will spend hours and hours drilling facts into their little heads. On the contrary, most people find that short lessons are the most effective. However, consistency is key. I find Rudy responds well to short lessons, consistently. As do most kids, but it’s extremely important in his case. A learning lifestyle is important for him. Which takes care, planning, and insight into what makes him tick. Most of my actual time for his education is in planning, and digging up resources that will help him.

Patience. There are times you will want to pull your hair out. Just being honest here. Consider yourself forewarned. But that moment. That moment when they “get it” When you see that idea spread across their face, and dawn in their little mind! There is nothing better. Your heart will sing, joy will bubble up and overflow. That is a satisfaction worth everything. To be there in that moment is priceless.

Socialization

We have all seen it, the “special” kid who is taken advantage of because he will do anything to make people laugh! He is taught rude phrases, bad words, and even talked into doing wrong things to be included. Rudy, I know, is highly motivated by people’s laughter. If someone laughs at anything he says, or does, that action or phrase will by repeated again and again! Several years ago he scared me when I was coming out of the bathroom. He got a Huge reaction! To this day, he “scares” anyone he wants to connect with! There are certain people at Church that he loves. He “scares” them every week!

Yes, I will shelter him and protect him from people who would teach him that wrong things are funny. With no hesitation. “But he will have to go into the world sometime” “you can’t shelter him forever!” Maybe. But I will put off that time as long as I can. As he grows, and is exposed to good behavior and good ideas, he will grow. And when he is exposed to less than desirable behavior, That wisdom will be instilled into him. Who says “protecting” our kids is bad, anyway. No one would look down on me for “protecting” my child from burning herself on a hot stove, or harming herself on a steep cliff, if they didn’t have the wisdom to know they would be hurt – no matter their age. So, why is it different for social or moral situations?

To Home school, or not

is a family decision that depends on that family, their goals, their lifestyle, their commitment, and their values. It really does not depend on their child’s special needs. Is home schooling my children with Down syndrome different than home schooling my “typical” children. Sure. But, so is raising them. If I won’t defer raising them to “experts”, why would I need to defer educating them to “experts”!

5 Lessons about Homeschooling a Child with Down Syndrome

Why I Plan to Homeschool My Child Who Has Down Syndrome

Joy lives in Southwest Missouri, where she home schools her children. She has 6, 3 of whom have already graduated and are let loose on the wide, wide, world! Of the three who are still at home, two have Down Syndrome, which makes for extra challenges and adventures. As they learn along with the kids, the family also grows as much of their own food as possible while seeking to grab every bit of the joy God has intended for their family. Joy writes about all of her home schooling, homesteading, and family raising passion on her blog Beanpost Farmstead.

Follow along with Beanpost Farmstead on Facebook too!

What You Need to Know About Homeschooling Your Child with Down Syndrome

July 22, 2018 by Dawn@cedarsstory.com Leave a Comment

Homeschooling was not what I had planned on doing some years ago, but God led us in that direction and we said goodbye to the public school system 7 years ago, never to look back. When Cedar was born with a Down Syndrome diagnosis, I worried if we would be able to continue to homeschool with him too and I have since decided that is likely the path we will continue on for his education in the years to come.

There is PARENT DRIVEN homeschooling and PUBLIC SCHOOL ONLINE homeschooling.

The latter of the two is essentially just removing your child from the brick and mortar building and allowing them to be taught, via computer, at home. The curriculum, tests, and record keeping is on the public school to do, you just have to ensure your child logs in and does their work. However, the caveat is that you may not be able to tailor this type as much as you can with PARENT DRIVEN homeschooling.

PARENT DRIVEN homeschooling is where the parent is the driving force and leader of the homeschooling. This can be done by purchasing a box curriculum by grade, purchasing one subject at a time in an a la carte fashion, or even developing your very own curriculum, as long as you are adhering to whatever the laws of your own state are. This is definitely the most flexible version of homeschooling and likely will lend itself best to parents of children with special needs.

The beauty of it is, no one knows your child better than you do, and no one will work harder to help them succeed than you will. You know your child’s abilities, and their limitations and you know how to teach them in the manner that will help them learn the best. If writing 2 + 2 = 4 on worksheets doesn’t click, then you can easily forgo the worksheets and start using tangible items, like grapes, buttons, or any other thing your child likes to get the point across. You are in charge and are able to get as creative as your own ability allows.

If you are just beginning to think about homeschooling here are a few places you should make a note of.

For preschoolers:

From Playdough to Plato is a great site for free printables, as is Easy Peasy all in one homeschool.

ABCmouse.com is also a great resource if your child likes to work on a computer. The Dollar Tree is a fantastic resource as their education nook boasts workbooks galore, for only $1!!!!

For gradeschoolers and beyond:

Easy Peasy all in one homeschool also has sections for gradeschoolers. I highly suggest attending a homeschool convention in or near your state. My personal favorite is the GHC. We also love shopping for curriculum on Christianbook.com

In addition, there is a site called Teachers Pay Teachers where you can find all kinds of great resources that won’t break the bank, especially if you are using unit studies.

In all honesty, a big cup of coffee, a healthy dose of patience and a great printer are the basics that you need to begin homeschooling. A little bit of support from a homeschooling community, and a can-do attitude.

Here is my favorite printer and an explanation of why.

Oh, and before I forget…all the naysayers who worry about “socialization” have it all wrong. If anything, we often have to turn social opportunities down because we have so many available to us. We attend literature classes at our public library and the little ones attend story hour, we have sports, 4H, church and volunteer activities to keep us busy too. There are moms groups, playdates, field trips and so much more so if this is something you are considering don’t worry too much about your little one not having opportunity to socialize.

5 Lessons About Homeschooling a Child with Down Syndrome

April 11, 2018 by Guest Post 6 Comments

I have shared before that I homeschool my 5 other children and that is my plan for Cedar as well. However, we are not in the trenches of homeschooling my son with Down Syndrome yet so I reached out to another mama who is, and here is what she shared:

My Five Lessons: Homeschooling my Son with Down syndrome

When I think about my son’s elementary school experience, I feel a genuine sense of sorrow; a loss of golden time for my son’s young, developing mind. The elementary school that was to support his early years of individuality, self-worth, wonderment and imagination had failed him.

From Junior Kindergarten to Grade Three, our family life revolved around a “boy and his behaviours and the school team” in search of solutions to support him. I look back now, four years later, and lament: Why didn’t we choose to homeschool Gabriel right from the beginning?

My husband and I were so blindsided by “the duty of inclusion”, that the one person we were trying to help was falling apart. Gabriel would wake up in the early months of Grade Three, sobbing and pleading not to go to school. His educational aide would assure us that he was fine once his day was started in school.

Gabriel was no longer the little boy my husband and I proudly brought to the interview with his Junior Kindergarten teacher many years ago. The boy who sat quietly, reading books, while we struggled to remain composed after her very first question: “Do I have to hide the scissors?”

Gabriel lost those early years. We chose the wrong school for him. We believed the school staff’s answers. We waited for things to get better. We lived in a simmering place of anger and angst. But all of this led to a gift that has given our son a second chance to live out his own best possible life as a real person. He no longer contends with labels and limits.

In November 2013, my husband and I began to homeschool Gabriel. And so my learning has been ongoing. This is what I know is true for our family and most importantly for our son:

Inclusion is not an idea or goal to be attained. It is an ongoing practice in everyday life. Gabriel is not isolated by a label of Down syndrome, but instead is an active partner in our homeschool and neighbourhood community. No longer shadowed by an adult who dictates his behaviour and social place among his peers, he can grow in his own light and seek out companionship where he is comfortable. He is included and empowered in everyday life.

Gabriel is a visual learner and I have the time and emotional space to strew and to teach to his needs. We live in Ontario, Canada, and homeschoolers are fortunate to not be restricted by institutional rules. We don’t work with our school board (although our family still pays taxes to our board) ; however, that option is available.

The luxury of Gabe’s learning ability is a gift. We can master a skill before moving onto another. There are no “precedents or antecedents of behaviour” to be discussed. He has been growing into a responsible person who is assured that it is okay to be right where he needs to be educationally. He is happy now and it shows.

There is always going to be ignorance about Down syndrome and it is NOT Gabe’s goal to raise awareness. Even in the homeschooling community, there is a segment of population who are not comfortable with a person with a disability and who have may be holding onto misperceptions. (Recently, a mother told me that she explained to her children that some people with Down syndrome cannot I corrected her but it was too late. She had already told her children.)

My husband and I welcome questions about Down syndrome; however, we most wish for peers to talk to Gabriel. Like any community setting, we strive for our son to be seen as a person first and foremost.

I am a good mother. I lived most of my early motherhood years in conflict about my abilities. I have learned the importance of being an advocate; however being a mother who listens and nurtures her child is most important in my own education.

As a homeschooling parent, I still battle with self-doubt and self-criticism, and I have good and bad days. I have waded through a pile of mistakes: choosing curriculum, social homeschool events, being consistent with routine and keeping my frustration in check. But I own it, and I move on. Life is not a Hallmark card and neither is homeschooling. It takes more “human” than I’ve ever given, if that makes sense. My son and I are much better people for it, too.

My son is not meant to be a rocket scientist and that’s OK. And chances are, your kid won’t be a rocket scientist either. I try to take Down syndrome out of the equation of “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

I grew up in a highly dysfunctional home and truth be told I cannot remember ever wanting to “be something”. I was in survival mode. I believe that if Gabe was still in the school system, he would be in survival mode and not growing into a person. And I believe that many kids with intellectual disabilities are far stronger willed than most neurotypical children only because they are neck deep in trying “to fit in” – or to survive as best they can in a social pool brimming with “expectation”. This word is very two faced. It can either be used for against or for someone and often the lowest of expectations are assigned to the learning disabled.

Gabe loves to take electronics apart but he’s not interested in what the components do to make something work, yet. He won’t participate in group STEM activities when we attend a homeschool co-op, yet. He wants to make videos but he doesn’t want to edit them, yet. He wants to shop for groceries but doesn’t care about money denominations, credit cards or banks, yet.

You see a theme here? “Yet” is our next step when building his skills for a good life. There are a zillion different ways to get to our goals. Our journey is slower, more relaxed, but we will get there. And whatever he chooses to be when he grows up will be his own choice because he will be independent and not in survival mode.

Gabriel is living a life of inclusion, where he can safely learn what he needs to learn without adults pushing their own perceptions about Down syndrome into his education. He is greatly loved by family and friends. Gabe is nurtured to be the best person he can be in this life. I wish I had known all these things before making the decision to homeschool my son. As a dear friend in the Down syndrome community always says, “Forward with hope.”

Gabriel is the 12-year-old son of Lianna and Terry Koerner. In November 2013, after four years of an unsuccessful relationship with elementary school, his parents decided to try homeschooling. It was, and continues to be, the best decision for him and his family. Gabriel enjoys gymnastics, cooking, sport activities, exploring electronics and karaoke with friends.

Be sure to follow along the adventures of Gabriel and his mom on Instagram @threeonthe21

Homeschooling a Child with Down Syndrome

February 20, 2018 by Dawn@cedarsstory.com Leave a Comment

Homeschooling a child with Down Syndrome

I have been one of those “weird” homeschooling moms now for just over 6 years. I have graduated one child who is enrolled in college now, and I have preschoolers coming up the ranks. When I first learned of my newest child’s Down Syndrome diagnosis I feared that I would have to put him in some type of school setting to receive services. I thought that homeschooling a child with Down Syndrome was not an option.

There were so many irrational fears at first, not the least of which was our family’s educational choices.

As time went on and the dust settled the fear was still nagging me. I knew how to teach gifted kids, visual learners, auditory learners, and my hyper undiagnosed ADD kiddo, but homeschooling a child with Down Syndrome?

Then God allowed me to have a chance encounter with another mother of a child with Down Syndrome. This mom had a middle-school-aged child who was sweet, bright and engaging. He was fascinated with my Cedar which gave me the time and opportunity to ask some questions of this mama who was further along the path than I am.

I began by asking about this child’s school and whether he was in an inclusion classroom where he was mainstreamed or whether he was in a segmented or pull out resource type class. She explained that he was doing well in the inclusionary classroom for some time until middle school but then things began to change. What she described next was not quite what I expected. She shared the ugly side of inclusion with me.

A life skills program perfect for children with Down Syndrome

January 22, 2018 by Dawn@cedarsstory.com 2 Comments

This post contains affiliate links

A life skills program that is perfect for children with Down Syndrome?

Yes, let me tell you what I found. We are a lifelong learning kind of family, we love adventure and we love to learn. That is why homeschooling fit very well into our lifestyle some years ago. When we learned that our newest addition, Cedar, had Down Syndrome, I initially became worried for his future. As so many moms do, I worried what the world would be like for him, and how he would find his way in this world. I worried so much about his future that often it would steal my joy. I had to stop then and there and give it up to God, he designed Cedar with a purpose and I am just the tour guide.

However, with that being said, God gifted me the ability to seek out resources, and seek I will. From the beginning, I have researched until the keys spelling GOOGLE on my computer are nearly worn down to nubs. We have been using everything available to us to give Cedar the best opportunities and to make sure that he continues to thrive and succeed. Yes, I know he is only 8 months old but, did I mention, we are planners?

Enter in a few things I have noted. I watched the show Born This Way and while I love it for the glimpse it offers me into the future, I have seen some gaps in the independent living skills of these young adults. There have been several episodes where the young adults were beginning to learn very basic skills like making a sandwich, counting and identifying coins, using an ATM, and writing a check; skills that can sometimes take our children a bit longer to master.

Around this same time I also started following several Instagram accounts that had older children, one, in particular, was that of @karenjp0915

Karen and her 11-year-old son, Caleb, sparked some interest in me to start working on those life skills early, I mean like REALLY early. So if it takes significantly longer to learn how to wash a load of laundry, then if we start learning that skill at 10 years old, we may have it mastered by the time the skill is needed. I have watched as Karen has posted Caleb making his own lunch, folding his laundry, using the UScan checkout, and so many other skills and I have been inspired to be sure that I will do these things with Cedar as well.

This is where it gets interesting, a friend of mine, who also has children with special needs, developed a curriculum with her husband and asked us to use it and see what we thought. The program, called Skill Trek, was designed to teach life skills that most typical children are growing up not knowing. Skills that will be invaluable to those typical children, and if we are teaching Cedar to be as independent as possible, life skills that will also help him as he grows so that he can be as independent as possible.

I began using the program with all 5 of my other typical children and I am in love! The skill range is from basic, like tying shoes, identifying coins, shaking hands, and the Pledge of Allegiance to the more complex, like budgeting, foreign language, and survival skills. The program is targeted for children ages preschool to young adult and it is fabulous that it is a web-based program that parents can add or remove skill tasks from, depending on the need and ability level of their children.

More and more children, teens, and young adults lack the life skills they need to know. That is typical children, and children with Down Syndrome.

So what is this program?

Skill Trek is a premium web-based program with lessons that can be read or viewed via video. The lessons are short, simple, and designed to be completed in a way that teaches mastery. The lessons can be printed or read online and almost all of them have an accompanying video tutorial as well.

When a child masters a skill they are able to upload their photo to the “Hall of Fame” which is a scrolling roster of mastered skills, kind of a pat on the back if you will. In addition, they earn a “nugget” for completing a skill successfully, these nuggets are HUGE encouragers for my children who know that they will be able to save them up in exchange for prizes in the Skill Trek Store.

There are fun characters that lead the way through the different levels as children interact and learn life skills.You can view some of the sample videos lessons here.

The day is not far away when you too will step back and say, “Wow, I can’t believe how much they can do because of Skill Trek.” And you won’t have to hunt for these changes, as they’ll become self-evident.

When you call out for someone to make breakfast, and children jump at the chance to try out one of their new special culinary skills or replace a burned-out light bulb, take care of a blocked sink, a malfunctioning toilet, or any one of hundreds of skills, you’ll love hearing, “Don’t worry, Mom, I’ve got this!”

It is great that I have only to log on and work through the short lessons with my children, some of which take as little as 5 minutes, some take longer, but often they are skills that I don’t necessarily think of until I am reminded that maybe we haven’t done that just yet, like teaching my 14 year old how to check the oil on all the cars we own (since each is very different). We are loving the program and I think it is a great fit for our xtra special kiddos from preschool through adulthood as well.

I asked the creators some very specific questions about how this program could be used with children and young adults who have Down Syndrome and they were gracious enough to film their answers. Sara and her husband are parents to 7 children, some with special needs, here is what they have to say:

Skill Trek is a supplemental curriculum using lessons that include:

explanation of the task,
instructions for completing the task,
video instructions where appropriate,
and an assignment to be completed to show mastery.

The assignments are hands-on and generally use materials from around the house. No extra cost.

The membership-based program allows for enrollment of one child or the entire family. Parents control the access and oversees all aspects of the program. While Skill Trek may place a child in a specific level based on age, parents may change the level based on the needs of their child.

The developers of Skill Trek are homeschool parents of seven children. They looked for a program to meet the gaps they saw in their children. Having both typically developing children and children with special needs, this dad and mom looked for a curriculum to help them explore the areas they wanted to cover. They also needed it to be customizable and allow the whole family to learn together. Finding nothing, they began to create their own lessons.

Highlights of Skill Trek are

Kindergarten (even some preschool) through high school levels.
Internet-based, no costly textbooks.
More than 500 multimedia lessons.
Customizable to meet children’s and family’s needs.
Allows children to work at their developmental age.
Not just cooking and cleaning.
Skills taught include financial literacy, current events, technology, emergency preparedness, and more.
Works within the family schedule.
Parental controls and oversight.

Skill Trek makes a fundamental difference for families. Not only are children becoming proficient in essential life skills, but they are using those skills within the family unit. Younger children are even teaching their new skills to their older siblings. And parents are learning new skills too. Skill Trek prepares children for life while enriching families.